In my heart, you'll see the saddest state it's ever been
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Conclusion: Who I am hates who I've been & it's true.
Aiyah, whatever la.
I stared at this blogger page for awhile after I started with the title & all. I was at my worst yesterday & last night was disastrous. Why did I even let her words affect me without knowing the truth? I just assumed & thought that what she said would be true 'cos afterall it's her friend. All that hang in my mind was "I had enough of this. Please don't play with my heart. Don't break my heart slow". I don't know, like what baby said, I need to be myself again. Be unreasonable & care more for myself more instead.
I always thought giving you a lot more time on studies & time for you to rest would help. Moreover, you wanna score well this time & not let history repeat itself. But I was wronged, all these time. I hate to chase you away, asking you to go busy & study or turn in early. Our moments together aren't lasting & I don't get to hold you like these all the time. Why would I like keeping you away from me? I could never bring myself to ask you to accompany me over the phone or during weekends. I know it's gonna be hard on you if I do. 'Cos you've got your studies & your family to handle. I never blame you for that & that was why I chose to do everything alone, so I won't be in your way. Dya remember when was the last time we actually spend a whole day together, be it just plain shopping or just do some loving at your place? I guess I was too afraid to ask. I thought too much for you & too little for myself? No, this time I thought nothing of your feelings & unknowingly, I just let things go the way I want them to be, never wonder how you'd feel. I was in the wrong & I'm sorry, for doing all these without knowing, for feeling sorry. I hope you'd understand that Glynis is loving you too much that she's willing to give up her life for you & that was probably why she did all these. I love you more than I love Shane the hottie in Lword, JayChou the all-time AH!, Elmo the one I hug & kiss all the time & I would say, even myself.
..and I was too afraid of you, leaving again.
Acks. =\
I'll be the one making you feel alright
I'll be the one doing the things you like
I'll be the one keeping you up at night
I'll be the lover in your life
I'll be the one you're gonna wanna call, yeah
I'll be the one making you climb the walls
I'll be the one gon' have you beggin' me
I'll be the one, the one you need
- Dru Hill's I'll Be The One.
***
Ok enough of nonsense. Maths & Social studies today. Social studies was utter fuck. Maths was like a breeze. I hope I can pass Maths & not get a single digit for Social studies though I expected it. Haha. After papers, went home, showered & went to Braddell. :D Rebonded my hair & al. Dad came to fetch me! Thanks dad. <3!>:( Neh, you see. SP is robbing her away from me. I berii n0rt hAppiiE n0rhx. She's working now. I shan't complain. 10 more minutes till she knocks off. 2 hours & 10 minutes before she text me. She's been tiring herself out this few days & we agreed that we won't talk tonight(though I would reeeeeeeeeeeeally love to) & when she's in bed, text me goodnight & off to sleep. Oh last night we hung up at 1.30am & I stayed up till around 2plus.
I hate my hair condition now. Ugh, I can't pin it up. I look like some ghost. Omg. >:( I'll go entertain myself now. Jul's being so nice. :D She's spending some time to hear me whine!
Do you know I'm waiting for you, alllllll the time? )':
I want my baby.!!!! -looks at Qiaos & giggles
Do you have the time to hear me whine?
<3.
8:41 PM
Mend this broken thing./
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MidwestLoveAffair-@Blogspot
